Sometimes you get really annoying questions that you want to avoid. Someone pops out of no where and goes IN A SUPER BRIGHT AND CHEERY VOICE,
“HEYYYY! HELLO! HOW ARE YOU!!?”
*insert sunshine and fluffy clouds, green grass and bouncing bunnies in the meadow*
OMG. I super hate that especially when Im busy or in a mood to be left alone.
I dont like it when my flow is interrupted, particularly when it is interrupted by someone you DONT really want to be asking that question.
I mean how obvious can it be when all you often get is one-worded responses.
ONE WORDED RESPONSES = “I DONT WANT TO TALK TO YOU. GO AWAY.”
Of course, there are times when people are really busy and all they can afford is one worded response.
However, what I usually do when an unwelcome person asks even such an innocuous question, is to IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE. But for those of who cant do without replying and having a conversation with the irritant for fear of coming across as a snob, here are some answers that MAY help you put your point across. And if any one of you reading this should have encountered answers like that, PLEASE WAKE UP YOUR IDEA and DONT BE DELUSIONAL.
Question: Heyyy how are you?/How are you doing?
You can start with something mild.
1. “Not so good now that Ive seen you.”
Or maybe you prefer something stronger.
2. “WTF. I WAS HAVING FUN UNTIL YOU CAME ALONG!!”
Then there’s the “scare” tactics.
3. “WHY. WHY YOU WANT TO KNOW HUHHHHH?”
(The person may or may not reply. If they are an insistent bugger, expect a reply as follows.)
“Nothing la. Just concerned only ma.”
“Why? Why do you need to be concerned? Are you my father? My mother? I dunno how to take care of myself is it? You scared I will forget to breathe or drown myself while in the shower, is it? You look down on me??!!!”
4. “Fucked up.” (This answer will naturally evoke a response from the other party)
“Huh? Why?”
“YOU LAHHH!”
Again, the person will reply, “Huh? Me? What has it got to do with me?”
“You mean you dont know? ASK YOURSELF WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!”
Or acting stupid.
5. “I dont know.”
“What you mean? You dont know how you are doing?”
“I dont know.”
“Huh?”
“I dont know.”
6. “Huh? Who are you?”
“I’m XXX.”
“Huh? Who’s XXX? I dont know anyone named XXX. Are you sure you have the right number?”
Going all emo-manic-depressive.
7. “Oh woe is me.”
“What’s wrong?”
“The heavens weep as from my eyes tears seep.”
“Ummm.. Okay?”
“Darkness veils the star spangled sky much like the darkness yearning within.”
“Ahhhhh. I dont understand.”
“As the cold steel draws crimson red, my eyes bid you adieu and soon, all is silent and dead.”
“WTF????!!!!?!?!”
8. “Hello how are you? Hope you are fine.”
“I am nothing I am nothing I am nothing I am nothing I am nothing I am nothing I am nothing I am nothing I am nothing I am nothing I am nothing I am nothing I am nothing I am nothing I am nothing I am nothing I am nothing I am nothing I am nothing I am nothing I am nothing I am nothing I am nothing I am nothing I am nothing I am nothing I am nothing I am nothing I am nothing I am nothing I am nothing I am nothing.”
“HUHHHHHHHHHH?!”
Or, you could irritate the person just like how he/she is irritating you.
9. “Hey how you doing?”
“How you doing?”
“Good. You?”
“Good. You?”
“Are you copying what Im saying?”
“Are you copying what Im saying?”
“Hey stop it.”
“Hey stop it.”
“Really. I mean it. Stop it.”
“Really. I mean it. Stop it.”
“Arghhhh!”
“Arghhhh!”
If you are a song aficionado….
10. “Hey. How are you??”
“Im sitting here in a boring room.”
“Bored? I entertain you lah. Hehe.”
“It’s just another rainy Sunday afternoon.”
“Raining? Your house there raining? And uhhh.. It’s Wednesday.”
“I’m wasting my time, I got nothing to do”
“Nothing to do? Go out loh!”
“I wonder how, I wonder why
Yesterday you told me ’bout the blue blue sky”
“Huhhh? What blue sky!?”
(You can let this go on. And see whether the fella finally understand that those were the lyrics from LEMON TREE! LOLLL!)
11. “Hey XX how are you?”
“Ohhh hey YY how are you? Im good. Having holidays now. Occasionally busy with work, but still have time to chill here and there. We must meet up soon!”
“Ummm.. Sorry. Im not YY. I’m CC.”
“Oh CC? Sorry thought you were YY.
Sorry I dont have time to chat with you.”
IF ALL ELSE FAILS!
Number 12 is your back up.
12. “I’M WARNING YOUUU!!!! I’M GOING TO CALL THE POLICE THE NEXT TIME YOU CALL ME OR SMS ME OR MSN MEEEEEEEE!!!11111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111!1!!!!
Disclaimer: All responses were original and created by sick twisted minds. Thank you those have contributed.
In this case, ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY.
